Blog Post No. 540
I’ve always had a poor sense of my own feelings and emotions in general. I’m starting my post off this way in an attempt to explain why, when I experience something, I never know if it’s universal or not. Usually, it is, like the feeling of a shower at the end of a long day or that sensation of being in the groove (for me when I’m writing). One feeling I’m sure most people have, is the dread that can settle in the evening (especially right before bed) when you’re stressed or feeling overwhelmed about something. Hopefully, the more upbeat sense that things aren’t so insurmountable that comes in the morning (usually aided by being too busy to worry so much because you have to get to work on time) is also something most people feel.
I’m closing in on the current draft of the Invasion Novel—which sounds good except for the fact that I had hoped to be done by now. There are all kinds of reasons why I’m behind, but that’s not what this post is about. This week, I’m looking into the methods I come up with to try and keep my productivity up. I’ve been coming up with different methods since high school (when I first got it into my head to be a writer). Clearly, what I came up with back then didn’t work or I wouldn’t be trying to finish my first novel many (many) years later. Oddly enough, though, the basic ideas I had back then aren’t all that dissimilar with the methods that have made the most impact over the years. 
It’s my birthday tomorrow and it’s one of the big milestone years. I haven’t really felt the same kind of excitement for birthdays since high school. Not to say that birthdays make me sad. I just see them as a marker of the years and my years are starting to add up. It’s all relative and as much as age is just a number, there are more battle scars each time the date rolls around. In my mind, I’m the same kid excited to get out of high school, sure that he’ll blossom in university, and bummed out that exams start on his birthday. That’s real, by the way. For all four years of high school, my first exam was on my birthday. 
I’m going to do another Stories that Stay with me this week because nothing else is really going on other than adding more words to the Invasion Novel but still not finishing it. More words isn’t bad, but I have to finish it eventually. Besides, it’s never going to be any good until I start fixing it in the next few drafts. For now, I wanted to talk about a movie, a theatre, and a friendship. Its a nice memory that I think will make for an interesting enough story. In 1999, a movie came out that changed how action and science fiction movies would be made from then on. I’m not talking about The Thirteenth Floor. It was, The Matrix. 
Back when I was in high school, a good night’s sleep was a solid six hours. If I managed five, I was good to go. Sure, I’d struggle to stay focused, but high school Ben didn’t really care about things like that. To be fair, most of it was probably my fault. Drinking pop too late, watching TV until my parents forced me to bed, listening to loud music all night, leaving important things (like homework) until the last minute (or to be honest, unfinished). And, who knows what else I could have been doing to contribute to the issue. The fact was, though, that I struggled to sleep, and it didn’t seem to be detrimental to anything (except for my attitude if you ask my parents). It was just the way things were and I thought that was part of me forever. (Except for on the weekends and in summer when I’d sleep all day). 
Ben Van Dongen 