Blog No 113
In 2013, my first year of writing the blog weekly, I only had one flub. I was working three jobs at the time and I was called in to one of them last minute. I didn’t have a schedule (or even the commitment) like I do now, so when I came home from work, exhausted and unfocused, my blog seemed unimportant. So it wasn’t until that Saturday that I wrote and posted it. While that was a definite miss, it was really only a small blip in 51 other solid weeks. Amazingly, in 2014, I didn’t miss a single post. What’s even more shocking (to me as much as anyone) I suggested that I may start posting by-weekly, or even less, but here I am, in January of year three, still writing a weekly blog.
So much has changed from the first year of the blog, my goals, the group, the layout of both blogs. The one thing that hasn’t changed is the writing – or the fact that I am writing. My writing has improved tremendously. I still have a monstrous way to go, but following Christian’s lead of joining other groups, putting ourselves out there, and learning from others, has helped me find issues in my writing that I never knew existed. I’m still lazy and unfocused, but habit has taken over for motivation and scheduling has evolved to the point where things are getting done far in advance and the process is becoming automatic. (Not the writing, that’s still hard work – because we care). I’m less afraid about affirming that I am a writer. I even got over my fears of pestering people and invited my entire facbook friend list to like the group.
Knowing what you really want to do is freeing and terrifying. Deciding to fully become a writer (like as a job and everything) means that I can give myself over to it, spend the time and effort it takes to get better, take myself as a writer seriously, and (most terrifying of all) tell everyone I know about it (with a straight face). When you want to be a writer, it’s easy to tell your friends. Talking about it (and all your story ideas) is fun – there’s no work involved. Telling strangers, or even acquaintances, is a big risk. Not only do they not believe you, but they tend to hold you to your word. One of my favourite things with having Adventure Worlds, the Zine, and this blog, is that when I tell people I’m a writer and they ask me to prove it, I can. It’s going to be even better when the collection is out.
I’ve come to accept the fact that my biggest dreams include, writing full time, paying the bills with writing, and maybe having a shared office. If I’m really lucky, I may end up living on my own some day. It’s not a glamorous life, but it’s an honest one. I’ve mentioned it a lot, but it’s still true. I don’t think I ever would have made it this far if it wasn’t for the group. When we first started this ride, it was another fun thing to talk about.
I’ll take the credit for refocusing the collaboration into what Adventure Worlds is today, but after posting the first story (that I had actually written a few years earlier) it was Christian who took the reins. In that first year he fearlessly posted story after story, prompting me to play catch-up. He says that if the group had fallen apart, he was at the place where he would have continued on his own. I’m not as confident in saying that – though he is a year older than I am. I believe that he would have done it on his own, but I think he’s happy he didn’t have to. It took me a little longer to make the realization, but it’s been two years now that I’m a writer. I’m practically an editor and publisher too. Year three is starting and I want to do as much more this year as I did from the first to the second. That’s exponential improvement!
(Also, I’ve now written over 90,000 words for this blog. Not too bad).